A Contemporary Resource for Partners – Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin, PsyD

Wired for Love” is an essential read for 21st century couples. Dr. Stan Tatkin integrates the worlds of neuroscience, attachment style and biological arousal into a readily readable manual on how couple’s can build or restore a secure relationship.

This book is a compelling page turner, as it uncovers how to make love and not war. Grounded in scientific breakthroughs, Dr. Tatkin outlines how to rewire your brain in the service of promoting the health and viability of the couple. This understandable prose prompts the reader to focus on true mutuality and life enhancing choices as motivations to be devoted to your partner.

Dr. Tatkin offers ten key principals to avoid the common pitfalls, which undermine so many relationships. His work builds on the fact that most of us want to love and be loved. He offers hope that couples have more choices and options than they previously were aware of.

A summary of these ten principals follows for our reader quick reference:

  • Creating a couple bubble allows partners to keep each other safe and secure.
  • Partners can make love and avoid war when the security-seeking parts of the brain are put at ease.
  • Partners relate to one another primarily as anchors (securely attached), islands (insecurely avoidant) or waves (insecurely ambivalent).
  • Partners who are experts on one another know how to please and soothe each other.
  • Partners with busy lives should create and use bedtime and morning rituals, as well as reunion rituals, to stay connected.
  • Partners should serve as the primary go to people for one another.
  • Partners should prevent each other from being a third wheel when relating to outsiders.
  • Partners who want to stay together must learn to fight well.
  • Partners can rekindle their love at any time through eye contact.
  • Partners can minimize each other’s stress and optimize each other’s health.

Rewire your brain for success. Rewire your brain for the couple relationship. Love wins!

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